


Story of Our Lives

by Sincerelyyoursanonymous



Category: The 100
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, But with a happy ending, Coming Out, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Songfic, lexa's parents are dicks, more characters will be added as needed, other characters will make appearances I'm sure, will add more tags as needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:54:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sincerelyyoursanonymous/pseuds/Sincerelyyoursanonymous
Summary: "The story of my life,I take her home,I drive all night to keep her warmand time is frozen."-----Lexa makes a discovery about herself. She tells Clarke first, but her parents disapprove. Clarke helps her along the way and develops feelings of her own, but not all relationships turn out how their supposed to. With ups and downs and their lives getting turned upside down, Lexa and Clarke have to find their way back to each other, falling in and out of love and dealing with heartbreak along the way.[ abandoned fic. ]





	Story of Our Lives

**Author's Note:**

> A little thing I wanted to work on in between chapters of TGaTV. It's been on my mind for weeks and I've finally developed enough to form a story around it. 
> 
> Each chapter will be based off a song. First up, Heaven by Troye Sivan ft. Betty Who. I highly suggest giving the songs at the beginning a listen.

_The truth runs wild_  
_like a tear down a cheek_  
_Trying to save face and daddy heartbreak_  
_I'm lying through my teeth_

\-----

Lexa learned about homosexuality through the likes of YouTube when she was in the ninth grade. She had been looking for videos for a research project and somehow stumbled upon LGBT youtubers (she blamed her discovery on falling into the YouTube black hole.)  
At first, she didn't think anything of it. She hadn't been raised that homosexuality was bad, but with snide comments here and there from her parents, calling people a fag and saying they were going to hell but "It's not bad, love who you love." 

Her family was great at hypocrisy. 

It wasn't until her junior year that she started to question things about herself. In gym class her eyes would linger, but she'd tell herself that it was wrong. That she was straight; she liked boys. She _had_ to; for the sake of her family. Her dad would be ashamed ("being gay isn't _wrong_ , Alexandria, I just don't enjoy the likes."), her mother, just as her father. She followed him everywhere, determined to be the perfect "wife" for him when Lexa knew he treated her almost as a slave under the mask of love. Her mother claimed it a "perfect Christian household" were you couldn't go into a new room without seeing a cross or a tacky "what would Jesus do" sticker sitting _somewhere_.

Lexa learned early on to hide her toys under the bed when guests arrived. Nobody needed to see what she really enjoyed. Her family was about image and image alone; it didn't matter what anybody felt as long as they kept up that image whenever guests were around. 

That's when she started dating Roan Queen, who's mother was planning to merge businesses with her father, and it would be good for the companies if the two became a thing. Roan was a year older than her, he played football. Her parents pushed her to do cheerleading, to make them a power couple, and Lexa complied. Because her parents' happiness was what came first. 

It was all for the sake of keeping things a secret. 

But with Roan Queen came his little sister, Ontari Queen. And while the girl was as manipulative as her mother, Ontari was beautiful. She was a year younger than Lexa, and on the rugby team. Lexa found herself wanting to visit Roan at his house more and more just to see her. It was like Lexa was addicted to a drug that she knew was bad for her but she kept taking it anyways. Her parents were happy that Lexa seemed to be getting along with Roan, but his kisses were chapped; rough. It didn't feel right. 

None of it felt right until Ontari kissed her one night during a movie after Roan's mother went to bed and Roan himself went to get a drink. 

It felt right to kiss her, but not because of Ontari herself. It felt right because Ontari was a girl. Because Ontari had soft skin and hair that flowed over her shoulders in waves. Because she held confidence and kissed with not even an ounce of insecurity and that's when Lexa knew the inevitable. She was gay, and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. And that realization terrified her because being gay was the opposite of the perfect family image; the black sheep in a crowd of furry white and the one the shepherd always targeted because it was different. 

The first person she told was Clarke; her best friend since the first grade when Lexa got gum in her hair and Clarke was the one who suggested that they cut it out. Lexa was mortified, and her parents weren't happy, but Clarke did it anyways and received the scolding that Lexa would have usually received. She held her head high and took her punishment like an open book, but she didn't let it faze her. Clarke was the sunshine in Lexa's life, with a heart of gold and talent that would take her father in life than Lexa could ever imagine doing on her own. Clarke was Lexa's rock. 

Clarke's reaction was immediate acceptance, with tears and all. And the blonde held Lexa when the brunette realized that she'd have to tell her parents. And when the panic ensued, Clarke held her and calmed her down as best as she could. 

"Count to fifteen," she had whispered, when Lexa's panic got to be too much and she couldn't breathe. "In your head, and out loud. When things get to be too much, just count to fifteen." 

And that's what Lexa did. 

When she found her eyes lingering, she counted. When Roan's hand fell on her back at her father's gala, she counted. When his lips fell against her neck later that night, she counted. But she pushed him away when he wanted more. And that night, Roan was the second person she told. And while his arms weren't the same as Clarke's, he counted with her. It took longer for her to calm down, but when she did it was because she imagined that it was Clarke holding her and counting with her. She knew if he knew about who she wished she was with, it would make him feel lesser than so she kept quiet. She didn't need to hurt him. She didn't _want_ to hurt him. Not when she knew that she'd be hurting her parents by telling them. 

She trusted Roan; there wasn't a reason for her not to. He was kind, and nice and protected her like a good boyfriend should. He stood up for her, made her laugh but also asked her opinion on things. She felt like if she wasn't who she was, maybe in another life, she would love him. In another life where she _could_ love him. But that wasn't her. She wasn't the kind of girl who imagined a picket fence future with the man of her dreams and having three children and a dog like her parents envisioned for her. She loved girls, and that was the biggest game changer she had ever came across. 

Lexa told her parents the night after the biggest game of the year. Her parents had treated Lexa and Roan to dinner, and when Roan took her hand and gave her the smallest of smiles she knew he knew her plan. He squeezed her hand and led them to the table where her parents sat them down and gave congratulations, but quickly changed the topic to Roan and Lexa's relationship. They asked how things were going, if they were expecting to be grandparents anytime soon. Lexa felt her insides churn at the idea of letting her parents down; of not being able to give them grandchildren. She was afraid, but this had to be done. 

And so she looked them in the eye, squeezed Roan's hand as hard as she could, and spoke right to their face-- "I'm gay." 

She was prepared for the shock she received from her parents. She was prepared for the way their faces turned into glares filled with anger and disappointment and she felt her heart sink. She was prepared for the feeling that she had just shot them, watching them bleed out on the concrete like a young Bruce Wayne. She wasn't, however, prepared for the words that left her fathers lips--

"When we get home, you are packing you bags, and you are leaving." 

She tried to stay calm. To count, to breathe. But she couldn't. She grabbed her bag and ran out of the restaurant, collapsing to her knees a block away as she cried. And she cried harder than she ever had. She expected her parents to be upset. But she wasn't expecting to be kicked out for being who she was. 

She tried to change herself. She really did. 

Roan found her moments later but he couldn't console her. He tried, but she'd flinch away like his skin was poisonous. Her breathing was fast, not enough to calm her down. No matter how many times she counted it wasn't enough. Not until Roan took her phone and called Clarke, asking her to pick Lexa up. He knew there wasn't anything he could do to help her at this point. But Clarke could help her. Clarke could bring her breathing to normal, Clarke could hold her and make Lexa feel safe. Clarke could be Lexa's pillow when she fell asleep in the blonde's bed, taking her in her arms and allowing her a place to stay until Roan moved out. 

And when that day came Roan dropped all connections with his mother, not wanting her to influence him any longer. He got an apartment in town, and offered Lexa the spare bedroom. She took it, and he helped her move her things out of storage. He went to community college, wanting to start anew and keep Lexa in a safe location, even if it meant sacrificing the opportunities he had secured back when he had his mother's money. He believed that Lexa was worth it, and he wanted to build his own life instead of the one built for him under the facade of a perfect life. And Lexa adored him for it. Roan became like her brother, the both of them escaping their pasts. 

She realized her feelings for Clarke when they were laying on the couch of Lexa's apartment one day when Roan was at class. Lexa had stayed home sick, but immediately after school Clarke brought her homework to her and stayed to watch movies and make her soup. Clarke had been showing her how to do the homework-- the blonde was a genius at Chemistry whereas Lexa was borderline failing. She blamed that on the fact that her mind was a consistent marathon runner and she was hiding something from everyone. Everyone but Clarke and Roan. 

Everyone at her school assumed that she and Roan willingly moved in together. That's what her parents said when anyone asked. That's what was true. But they never gave a real reason as to why. The Woods' didn't want to taint their own name by claiming their own daughter was gay and Lexa didn't want to make more people ashamed of her. It was a back and forth with her; wanting to be free, and wanting to be safe. Playing the same story kept her safe. It wasn't ideal, but it meant that she didn't have to tell the truth to the world just yet. And Roan supported that. 

But when she realized she was in love with Clarke Griffin, she didn't want to pretend to be someone she wasn't. Clarke made her want to tell the world, even if it meant the _slightest_ chance of being with her. But as far as Lexa knew, Clarke was straight. So Lexa kept to herself. She kept the soft glances to herself, the want to hold Clarke's hand to herself. But with staying quiet meant she realized a lot more than she should have. 

She realized how beautiful Clarke looked in the morning after the blonde stayed the night. With her hair cascading along her pillows, and the way she rubbed the sleep from her eyes as if it didn't trigger a yawn to occur. She realized the way that Clarke _had_ to have a half cup of syrup on her pancakes, no more and no less, and that she had done it that way for so long that she had memorized the correct amount. Lexa noticed how Clarke would stick the tip of her tongue out of her mouth when she was in deep thought, or concentrating hard on something like the details of a painting. 

She also realized that Clarke was going to every football game, even after Lexa dropped out of the cheerleading squad at the start of her senior year. The blonde would drag Lexa along, decked out in Arkadia High colors and she'd yell the loudest when their team scored. She'd nurse a hot chocolate in between her thighs on a cold night, and even offered her sweater to Lexa when the brunette forgot her own in Roan's truck. Clarke was the perfect girl for Lexa to fall in love with, but Lexa had already accepted the fact that Clarke didn't feel the same. It was life, after all. 

Lexa came out to the school a week before the homecoming game of her senior year. 

She had to talk herself into it, and Roan helped a lot. After weeks of pining over Clarke, she knew she had to try and do something to move past it. Because she didn't want to risk anything and end up losing her best friend. 

Enter Echo; a junior with long hair and a captivating smile that could draw in anyone. She was captain of the cheerleading squad but everyone knew her as being Bellamy Blake's former girlfriend, the two of them breaking up when Bellamy graduated the year prior. She had been friends with Echo due to her previous placement on the squad, and knew Bellamy through his little sister, and the two of them seemed to have agreed on it. There wasn't any hard feelings. And if Lexa were being honest, she had always had a small crush on Echo.

(Her crush for Clarke outweighed all other crushes, though.) 

She planned to ask Echo to homecoming. Echo was openly bisexual, and Lexa felt that maybe Echo could help make coming out easier. So she got to planning. And with the help of Roan and a few other cheerleaders, she managed to come up with the cheesy rhyme of "I know my coming out speech is late, but will you be my homecoming date?" and put it on a poster. The proposal was done at lunch, and Echo said yes. The rest of the day the school was buzzing with the news of Lexa coming out of the closet. 

She didn't have a reason to be afraid anymore. 

While some people weren't all that accepting, most of the school was. She was surrounded by support and it made her feel a lot better. 

She and Echo had "dated" the whole week of homecoming; even getting nominated as queens but Lexa had a feeling that had something to do with the gesture Lexa had made when it came to coming out. But she sucked it up, let the school have their fun and held Echo's hand during the parade. Her parents weren't happy to hear about what her daughter was doing, but they made their bed when they kicked Lexa out. They had no control over her anymore and Lexa felt free. 

Her and Echo's relationship didn't last past homecoming week. They decided they were better off as friends, and Lexa was glad for the week she had been distracted by her suffocating feelings for Clarke. When she wasn't holding Echo's hand, she was wanting to hold Clarke's. And kiss Clarke. And hold Clarke the way that lovers do. But she couldn't tell the blonde. She felt like it would ruin everything and that wasn't what she wanted. She needed Clarke in her life. 

It was Roan who helped her through the nights, providing her with hot chocolate and movies while she vented about what she was feeling. He helped her in ways she never thought possible and she was grateful for it. 

But she knew that every time she looked at Clarke, she was in for the battle of her heart's life. Falling desperately in love with your best friend is hard enough, but it's even harder when you know you can't say a word.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate song: Dollhouse by Melanie Martinez. Both fit fairly well in my opinion.


End file.
